On His Wedding Night

Prof RaviC is writing the case solution on the blackboard and looks at a guy who's studying his casemat (case material) instead of looking at the blackboard for the solution.

Prof. RaviC: You're like the idiot who wants to watch a blue movie on his wedding night!

I don't think I need to describe the class reaction now!

I haven't had the privilege to be taught by this amazing guy but he's well known in IIMA circles for his witty remarks. I hope I too get to sit in his class next year!

WIMWI - Decoded

What 2T a.k.a. Vamsee, a friend and my dorm-mate (is that a word?) had to say on WIMWI, an introduction to life in WIMWI.

"I am really tempted to write a full fledged blog here, considering that this will be my first post since entering the hallowed portals of IIM A. But alas, with the mid-terms around the corner, it would be too much of a risk. But since I have managed the miracle of completing my WAC assignment before time (three hours to go!!!), I will take the liberty to put up a post.

Here is a list of some common jargons used here in WIMWI. Disclaimers, since it is not an original work. None the less, it makes a pretty interesting read. I promise there is a lot to follow, for which this will work as a reference guide. Take them at the face value now, explanations will follow in due course of time. I am off to enjoy the famous WAC run(See below) now...

Arbit (adj.: origin:: local); short for arbitrary .meaning nothing in particular and everything in general.

Assignment (n: origin:: James Bond Movies); PC lab has computer paper; groups have to meet; the Profs have to give something in order to take something; hence ass-ignments; gives rise to Newton's nth law - "thickness of the report shall be directly proportional to the weightage of the assignment".

Blackbooks (n: origin:: IIM A); collectors' items; consists of old question papers which are the saviours during quizzes, midterms and endterms; question-able methods of cracking the scene. "

Bumps (n: origin:: A'bad Municipal Corporation); if it's your birthday or in case you crack the scene , then you have had it - no ifs and butts.

Case mat (n: origin:: Case Unit); IN CASE YOU ARE FOUND WITHOUT IT IN CLASS , THEN YOUR CASE IS VERY WEAK. BT THE WAY THE UPPER CASE IS INCIDENTAL

CCCF (n: origin:: IIM A); acronym for 'Conceptual Clarity and Contextual Familiarity'; for cccf on what that means see cccf.

Chai (n: origin:: obscure); the underlying fillosophy of WIMWIans; the forum for countless discussions over countless cups; the non-alcoholic spirit of IIM-A life. Has strong associations with mess , NR and Rambhai's

CHAOS (n: origin:: Biblical (almost), IIM-A); describes the state of an WIMWIian two hours prior to any submission or presentation. Also IIM-A's organised (???) annual extravaganza.

Cogging (n: origin:: Arthur Hailey); Collaborative Operations on Getting Good Insights for Necessary Grades; on-line teaching aids for turning the wheels of one's life . Strictly prohibited in WIMWI.

Combo (n: origin:: Phantom Comics); IIM-A equivalent of Jungle Olympics; never ending source of fun, entertainment and activity in the second term, when battles are fought on an mental and physical plane; an outlet for action and interaction.

Convocation (n: origin:: Nalanda); the day when IIM-A life turns full circle; 180 degrees are handed over on this day.

Corpo Dinner (n: origin:: IIM-A), one more resultant)of mess grub; around 25 Indians go out in English suits to an American place, have Mexican and Chinese food and go Dutch; a truly global affair.

CP (n: origin:: Harvard); Acronym for 'Class Participation'; IIM's vocal support to the cause of socialism, often accompanied by its offshoots like Arbit CP, Challenge CP, RCP, ACP etc.

CR (n: origin:: Sholay); acronym for 'Class Representative'; generally jobless except for rescheduling classes, making farewell speeches, postponing assignments and making a fool of him(her)self in the Talent Nite.

Cribbing (n:: Oliver Twist); Continuous Ranting and Industrious Brow Beating Inevitably for Necessary Grades.

D-l, D-2 & D-ll (origin:: Louis Kahn); short for Dorm-1, Dorm-2 and Dorm-11; residences for non-males and non- resident males.

Day Zero (n: origin:: Algeber-wai mulublai); the day of reckoning for the best; genesis for some ;armageddon for any.

Diro (n: origin:: English); Big Chief of IIM-A; a figurehead who can't figure out where we are heading.

Dorm (n: origin:: Louis Kahn); they exist from 1 to 23; the epicentre of all activity in IIM-A; also residences for WIMWIans.

Dorm Rep (n: origin:: IIM-A); Chief of the dorm; arranges for dinners, dunkings, T-shirts and other common dorm inventory

Dunking (origin:: Niagara fn!!s) ; IIMA's answer to the patriot missiles ; long range aqueous projectiles aimed at an unsuspecting passerby providing source of immense gratification; this ritual for no perceivable reason, has a distinctive sexual bias.

Endterm (origin :'The Crusaders'}; the magnum opus of the coterie of professors, an epic battle fought by valiant students to stay afloat, which puts other occurrences like the Mahahharata and the Ramayana to shame; used in conjunction with other torture instruments like midterms and quizzes.

Exhibit (origin:: showbiz); Unnecessary, but necessary portion of anything attached to its end; an integral part of WAC reports and PPTs.

'F'(origin:: ancient Greek); the most dreaded grade in non-academic circles; also happens to be the sixth letter of the alphabet.

Fachchas ( origin: obfciirc); all new entrants to the realms of Louis Kahn, Vastrapur, the case method, corpodom and MANAC quizzes.

FPM ( origin: 11M A); fully paid mazaa; a four year transform which involves a fully subsidized vacation with a universal pastime called research; fine fellows they become.

Fraud (origin: RaviC, mind u, only the word, not what it stands for) to beautifully elaborate and then succinctly encapsulate first grade BS, applies to many assignments, and unfortunately, some courses as well

Garba ( origin: Gujjuland); a rollicking local dance form; an occasion for honing one'? skills in tertiary activities like dancing, bird-watching; a time when IIM A comes to NID, NIFT and CEPT.

Group Meeting (origin: Harvard); necessary part of the curriculum; when WIMWIans sit or stand or lie down and discuss solutions tor unstructured problems and dilemmas in life; in other words , the day's juice is collated, arranged and prepared ready for dispatch to community at large the next day.

Harvard Dinner (origin: IIM A); the soup that we land ourselves in on Friday nights; a solemn acknowledgment of where we derive our 'bread and butter' from;

IIM-B (origin: Indian Govt.); never heard of such a place, cccf invited. Also called Not So Well Known Institute of Management In Southern India.

IIM-C (origin: Indian Govt.); never heard of such a place, cccf invited. Also called Not So Well Known Institute of Management In Eastern India.

Juice (n: origin: IIM-A): WIMWI's own edition of the British, Hindi and vernacular tabloids put together in torture chambers called classrooms for public consumption and reprieve; no wonder Hitler didn't like the 'juice'.

Junta (origin: 1930s, Spain); we, the people, the mob, any number of guys and gals from one to infinity generally present anywhere.

KLMDC (origin:Gujjuland); Kinda' Lodge for Misled Delegations from Companies, a paid vacation for middle level managers in an amiable ambiance; for those who can't afford golf courses, crash courses are the in-thing; a classic case of mutual value addition.

Leli (origin IIM-A); ancient war cry of the masses; occurs when unwitting individual(s) have been taken (in) by a revenge seeking mob. (see tempo shout and zigzag).

LKP (origin: Louis Kahn); IIM-A equivalent of the red square; venue for convo, afternoon snoozes, photograph sessions, inaugs, rock-nites .....

LSD (origin: 'TheBeatles); stands originally for' Literary and Symposium Desk' but literally the symposium part is non-existent.

MAD Club (origin: IIM-A); stands for Movie A Day; but often Xceeds one's XXpectations.

Management (origin: Gujjuland); what one tells the auto driver when you want to get to IIM-A; not to be confused with anything else.

Marketing (origin: Indus Valley Civilisation); if it's not finance it must be; governed by four P's, especially during placement - Please Pardon Poor Percentages; also the name of torture instrument used by PO, Vyas and Jain Baba.

MF (origin: IIM-A); stands for Marketing Fair christened 'Insight'; where the companies use WIMWIans as guinea pigs for trying out new ideas and the WIMWIans use local junta as guinea pigs to try out their fledging skills and all the junta not doing serious work enjoy themselves immensely.

Midterms (origin: 'The Crusades'); See endterms.

NID (origin: 'Govt. Of India'); Place forming a mutual admiration society with WIMWI. They admire the , way our campus is built and we admire the way they are.

CT (origin: local); Where WIMWIans mortally wounded in the mess, retreat in the night to assuage grumbling tummies.

Nightout (origin: 'The Owl and the Pussy Cat'); doing something you should have done earlier, at a time when you should be doing what you did earlier, (see WAC).

Open Book (origin: smug Profs); Kind of exam in which cogging from a book is allowed, but in which you can't figure out which chapter. Or if you know the chapter you must have brought the wrong book. If nothing else you've come to the wrong classroom. See cogging.

Operations (origin:World War II); nothing medical There is a rumour that it used to be a substitute for Finance and Marketing, but you shouldn't believe everything you hear.

Pantry (origin: Louis Kahn); A. small room in every dorm. Some of these actually contain Ossum food.

PGP (origin: PGP office); Presently Grilled Prisoners. (See endterms, midterms, quiz, assignments).

Postpone (origin: Mojo); Something that is done to assignments, classes, quizzes on pretexts like Talent Nite, LAN crashes and a general attack of lethargy.

PPO (origin: P&G); Stands for 'Placement Panic Over' or 'Persistence Pays, OK?'.

PPT (origin: Placement Office); Stands for 'Please Pay "Ttention'. Sadly, very few comply and the rest pay up 250 bucks each.

Quiz (origin: Charles Daley); Like any other you have seen. Puzzling questions, limited time, makes you wish you knew more and of course the quizmaster's decisions final.

R.As (n: origin: 'The Mahabharta'; Lord Ganesha being the first one); People holding the key to a good GPA and must hence be kept in good humour. Attendance, CP and exam marks are in their hands. Behold them in awe and handle them with care (see GPA, CP, cribbing).

Rambhai (origin: Gujjuland); One man institution outside WIMWI who could teach a course or Wo if he had time (see marketing, chai).

Rem (origin: 'the Bible', 'The Second Coming'); Replay in slow motion for those who missed action the first time round.

RG (origin: The autobiography of Daintier Benz); I know what it means but why should I tell you ?

SAC-C (origin: The Chancellor of Exchequer); WIMWIan equivalent of President, Pope and CEO rolled into one. In short a position in which you can sac, see?(see WIMWI).

Soapbox (origin: Hyde Park, London); Place where some people go to speak and rest go to have fun.

Tucchas (Origin: Paradise Regained by Milton); the Gods in WIMWI

Ramp (origin: Stanford Univ. USA); Architectural marvel for foreigners and NID-ians to gawk at and for WIMWIans to climb, (see NID). Now notorious for parties

Summers (origin: Revolution of the earth round She sun);Hot season in preparation for which people wear blazers and ties .

Systems (origin: Mckinsey's 7 S model); Like Operations a rumoured alternative to Finance and Marketing. Most WIMWIans don't believe this to be true. (see operations, marketing, finance).

Talent Nite (origin: local); High point of the first term. An elaborate exercise to get to know almost everyone in your section and to see your CR make a fool of himself, (see CR).

Tempo Shout (origin: The Paleolithic Age; origin: of spoken tongue); tribal war whoop emitted by groups of WIMWIans, apparently without any provocation, rhyme or reason (see Leli, zigzag-zigzag).

Tower Lawns (origin: Louis Kahn); used by WIMWIans for playing football and hockey, general junta for lazing on and cows for grazing on.

Vastrapur (origin: unknown); Small unimportant village in a small unimportant town in Western India.

Vet (origin: Blue Cross); The medical man about town. Short for 'veteran doctor' - contrary to popular opinion. Met when you report a stomach upset , the main symptoms of which are over-sleeping and inability to attend classes.

WAC run (origin: local); strange ritual held nine times a year in which WIMWIans remain awake all Friday night and start running madly at 04:25 PM on the next day. (see Nightout).

Welcome Night (origin: local); Traditional event to see how well a PGP 1 can sing when two hundred PGP 2s are yelling.

WIMWI (origin: the professors used this to signify IIMA without using the name IIMA in case studies in the 1970s); Well known Institute of Management in Western India.

Wing (origin: Louis Kahn); View of the campus from the wrong side of the LKP.

Work-ex (origin: Newton's Third Lam); After which some people come here for a two year break.

Zigzag-zigzag (origin: Tempo Shout); Description of the path to success and future glory from here. Part of tempo shout, no doubt for that reason, (see Leli, tempo shout)."

Dorm 20

The fucchas of D20, rechristened.

4pLay

That, ladies and gentlemen is my name from now on. In other words, I've been rechristened as

4pLay - The Sex God

This is another WIMWI tradition, one of the famous ones I guess - Dorm Naming. An example - the Vindi you hear in M.S. Vindi Banga (a well known alumnus of IIMA), is his dorm name. The first thing people do when talking to IIMA students or alumni is ask their dorm name. So it is quite well known. There are 26 dorms in all over here and every dorm has secret rituals and traditions for dorm naming. No one outside the dorm is aware of these.

Here are all the dorm names in Dorm 20 - Dorm of Sex Gods...


This board though, hardly tells you the story. There have been worse names than these. A few examples are - Sussu Singh, Potty Singh, Landesh Singh, Blojo, Blomie, Brasak etc. Then we have some nice ones too, but then nice is boring!...;)

Panna Marathala Vavaala!!! Section A Ku Savaala!!!

Thats the tamil tempo shout (there's been a tradition of tamil tempo shouts you see) for my section, Section A, for the upcoming T-nite (Talent night). Full credit to Karthik, our tempo manager for this...;)

T-nite is the annual inter-section competition between the four PGP 1 sections (A, B, C, D) in IIMA. Its supposed to be ultra competitive with intense rivalries between sections. With the event scgheduled right after the mid-term exams, there is hardly any time to practice or prepare, but that simply adds to the fun. Along with full support from the tucchas, even IIMA alumni working in various locations come to the campus to support their former sections. Thats the scale of it.

And lastly, if you're wondering what this particular tempo shout meant, I have no idea and if you're wondering what a tempo shout is, its a cheer, to keep the tempo high!...;)

- Section A ka tempo....high hai!!!
.
.
.
.
Baaki sab ki le li....zig zag zig zag!!!


-Section A ka naara hai....T Nite hamara hai!!!

Feeling Guilty is sleep >= 6 hours

And that is the way I felt the whole day, thanks to the princely 6 hours I slept last night.

Quantitative Methods, Hand Grenades and Cafe TANSTAAFL

An interesting application of QM was related by my Quant Methods professor in class, his Belgian friend in the NATO forces told him this about hand grenades.

The grenades that they use have to have an optimum composition of chemicals. When you throw them at the enemy during war, if the chemical composition is more than the optimum level then it kills the enemy soldier and you can't get any information out of him or if he's alive then you need 1-2 of your own men to carry him. This reduces your force, hence efficiency.

If the composition is less than the optimum level and it doesn't do much harm, then its not of much use anyways. Therefore the composition has to be just right, where you incapacitate the soldier but to the extent where he is alive and can walk by himself but can't do any harm or run away.

The graph would be something like this.


Ignore the numbers and look at the trend. Imagine the efficiency on Y-axis and grenade chemical composition on the X-axis. Just the right composition at the single point or near about its vicinity where you see the curve at its highest point, would ensure maximum efficiency.

As for me, its 4 in the morning and I got to study QM. Feel thirsty but too lazy to go and get water in my bottle. Feel hungry too but no choice, CT (Cafe TANSTAAFL - There Aint No Such Thing As A Free Lunch, the cafe on my campus) has closed for the night/day/morning whatever, can't order anything.

Thinking about the days when I slept peacefully and why I am writing this post at this hour, when I should be studying. Tomorrow is going to be a hard night's day.

In simple language, I'll sleep in class. Hopefully.

An OK Start

So I got the results of the quiz, I did ok, not too bad as I expected. So, the MBA begins on not such a bad note. With the kind of work pressure there is, I do wish the following 2 years would just fast forward. No actually, just 1 year. Tucchadom is fun.

Oh I didn't tell you about this did I? 1st year students are called fucchas, 2nd year students are called tucchas. And being a tuccha is about the next best thing to being Hugh Hefner. So its just one year of some real struggle ahead. And I hope I do well.

The First MANAC Quiz

Today.

Woke up at 8-24 AM, was in class at 8-40 AM (and I did take a bath), had the first 'surprise' MANAC (Managerial Accounting) quiz and inspite of preparing for it in advance, am not sure of how it went.

Weird day. I hope for better days in this place.

Welcome to Dorm of the Sex Gods!

Dorm 20 - My home for the next 2 years. Dorm of The Sex Gods is what it is called.

The WIMWI Way of Life

There's only one thing about IIMA, that I can/want to tell you right now - It needs to be experienced. Words will never do justice to this place.

P.s. - I am just waiting for the net connection in my room to be setup, once that happens, you'll see a lot more pictures and read about a lot more things, that make this place the place it is. All that, hopefully that is....;)

I am bad at deciding titles; Just read the post!...;)

This is something I'll never be able to say to them directly - I love you mom and dad and my bro Abhinav. Thanks for everything. You guys are truly amazing. Words will never suffice but just want to tell you that I love you guys the most and am sorry for being a stupid jerk of a son...;)

Direct posts like these are something I want to avoid but I wrote this hoping they'll read this soon and know this.

On the other front, I have joined IIMA. Lots of stuff to tell. Will do that with pics in subsequent posts. Hopefully that is.

A sampler - The attendance requirement here is 100%. A professor said, "if you are ill, then you are not fit to be at IIMA"

Keep dropping...:)

Airports

Someone has rightly said that whenever one feels there is too much hatred around, go to an airport.

The amount of love one witnesses there, between parents and children, brothers and sisters, lovers, husbands and wives, should certainly fill you with a little hope, for a little while at least, if not too long.

Umm...History...Anyone?

A corporate presentation class in IIMA. Too many points on history of the company.

Instructor - Guys, You overshot your time and had a number of repetitions…couple of points in the History of the company were repeated and were redundant…

Chimp(with his typical accent) - Ma'am, “History repeats itself!!”

I have still to join the class at Ahmedabad, picked this bit from here.

Is this my future class? Sounds like fun!

Politically In...Never-correct

Why am I the most politically incorrect person you'll ever meet???

I hate those social occasions where you need to speak with people you barely know. I speak my mind most of the times. That is if I speak. Most times, I don't speak, because I guess I am a little shy/reticent/introvert. And people mistake that for arrogance.

Essentially, I hate thinking so much, but I do and I can't help it. And at social occasions, am always thinking about what should I say, whether I should talk to XYZ person or not. Maybe, it's not that complicated, but in my mind, it is.

I'd rather hang out with my college buddies, eat, drink and enjoy life. Sigh!...when will I stop missing college?...:p

Men, Women and an Academic Paper

According to this study, men and women (in the US atleast) have the following preferences when it comes to the opposite sex -

• For men, the only thing that matters is how hot the girl is.

Wicked I know, but that's the ultimate truth.

Coming to women...ahhh...women! They on the other hand are a bit more flexible with their choices. They don't mind a shorter or a not very good looking guy, but they do have a common benchmark against which they measure these parameters. Any guesses on what that benchmark is?

Its Money.

• A guy only 5 feet tall will need to earn $325,000 more than the 6 feet tall guy, to be as successful in the online dating market.

• Coming to looks, if you are somewhere in the middle of the pile, you need to earn $143,000 more than the guy at the top (whose there simply on the basis of his looks)

• If you're at the very bottom of the pile (again solely because of your looks), to get the girls the top guys get, you'll need to earn $186,000 more than the top guys.

Wickeder right? But it's true.

By the way, just for the record - I have nothing against women in general, I love you all...;)... but this was too interesting an article too ignore. You can also read the original blogpost I got it from, here.

All these are results from a scientific study in the US, so now we know 2 things for sure.

• People in the US conduct research on almost anything

• Nothing like true love. Money does matter, in the end. And if to any of the female readers it doesn't (Read: those who don't mind supporting a stay-at-home husband/boyfriend, who drinks beer and watches TV the whole day), send me your photo!...;)

Nostalgia Again

It is that time of the year again, when engineering colleges throughout the country are getting over with the 2nd semester of the current session. And across Orkut, you find headlines such as "Leaving xxxx", "Bye-bye xxxx" and the likes of these. All this just reminds me of my engineering college and the time I left it, which was the same time as now last year. Even otherwise, at various times of the day I think about what I would have been doing at that time, had I still been a student at TIET. It sounds funny. TIET, short for Thapar Institute of Engg and Tech. I guess the college also realised that and now its called TU or Thapar University, which I guess ranks higher up in the cool quotient.

As you might have seen from the numerous number of posts on TIET, I really miss my college and Patiala and in a strange, weird, slap-me-and-wash-my-mouth-with-soap-for-saying-this way Punjab too.

Coming to think of it, all the incidents, all the people, every small thing that took place, it all seems so unnatural now, as if it was all just a dream and suddenly I woke up one day, back in my room in Delhi. With only memories of some strange and weird people, of some stranger and weirder incidents, in a place that refuses to be erased from my memory.

I usually get so pensive only during the evenings or when I see the profile of somebody still in engineering college and look through his scraps to realize, that's what my scrapbook looked like not a very long time ago but it'll never look that way again. A stupid line I know, but just a thought.

This line fits in well right now - Those were the best days of my life...

This is what I hate about life. I hate changes and moving on. Both of which I will have to deal with and keep dealing with.

If you've come this far folks, then do let me know you address. You definitely deserve a bravery award!

The Sordid Saga of a W710i, Gurgaon Weather and Yours Truly

With all due respect to those who work there, all the call center executives I have talked with so far, seem to be the biggest losers on this planet. Basic IQ and intelligence is what is missing, why can't everybody have it? Now, I am not generalizing it but most executives I talked to so far were highly successful in irritating the crap out of me.

Anyways, so my W710i story has today taken a new turn with the old set getting replaced by a new one and I HOPE this one works fine. Usually when I buy new stuff, there is a tendency for it to go bad within 24-48 hours of buying it. Happened when I bought my first computer, video-game and now this. If this set doesn't work fine then I am reselling this one, I'll have to suffer quite a heavy monetary loss but I don't care. I can't go through the head-ache I have gone through once to get this set replaced.

Today the weather in Gurgaon is simply amazing. And I don't know why, I felt lonely, not in the romantic sense you dirty mind. I just felt like sitting down somewhere, with some good friends and drinking down a few beers. Even now, there's an awesome breeze blowing. Makes me think why I am not going to IIM Kozhikode/honeymoon destination!...lol. Man...Chetan Bhagat rightly said...who Chetan Bhagat you asked??..This guy. So as I was saying, he said - A guy bonds with his hostel and college buddies more than even his spouse.

I second that. Now after that comment I don't really expect any of the female readers to show even the slightest bit of interest in me, if there was any initial scope. Add to that, I have been called boring, serious and over-mature. So there goes my already barren love-life further down the drain!

Anyways, mommy calling me for dinner and a younger brother getting really impatient and irritated because I'm hogging the PC. Reminds me of the time in 1970's when people paid money to use PC time for their programming purposes, much like the cyber-cafes of today. Here I go on a tangent again.

Shall take your leave for now.

Bank Loans and IIMA

1) There should be a separate loan from banks to finance all the parties that are suddenly due after the call. There are so many people I want to treat, but my finances...:(...sigh!!...they tell a different story.

2) The loans that banks offer to students should also cover phone bills. That's going to be my only major expense in Ahmedabad...:(

Hutch Buggers

I just paid an obscene amount of money as my telephone bill at the Hutch Kiosk. At the end of the payment, I kept on pressing buttons and unfortunately, when it asked me if I need the transaction slip, I pressed 'No'.

Now the money I paid was huge and I don't even have proof of it. Its happened once before that the stupid Hutch Computer didn't register my payment and if that happens now....I am doomed!!